If Only The Fire Had Burned Every Single Copy

Every morning on the way in to work, my wife and I check out The River 105.9's 80's show called "The 80's At 8". which always promptly starts at 8:08 (get it?). Usually, it's a good time, and often we hear some classics as well as some bizarre obscurities like Opus' 1984 single "Live Is Life" or The J. Geils Band's "No Anchovies Please". The other morning, however, made us want to vomit as we started to pull out of our driveway and onto our street. The song that started the show was one of the worst atrocities known to man as far as recorded music is concerned. That song is "We Didn't Start The Fire" by Billy Joel.

Many would say that one of the worst recorded music atrocities is another Joel-related recording, namely his 1970 album with another goofy dude as Attila. While that record is kinda cheesy, it really does have some decent moments on it if you're a fan of the psychedelic acid rock sound or a heavily treated electric organ. It's really a nasty record, and I truly think it would be held in higher regard if people weren't kissing Joel's solo songs' asses so much. As a start to the morning, "We Didn't Start The Fire" immediately pissed me off for the remainder of the day. The lyrics are just stupid and makes Michael Stipe's lyrics in "It's the End of the World As We Know It" seem like a Rimbaud poem. If Billy Joel really wanted to change the world, which is what he aimed for by writing this horrendous song, he would have turned in his driver's license to New York state to rid the world of one less drunk driver.

He should be banned from the airwaves. Awful, just bloody awful.